College is a time of increasing independence, new experiences, and important decision-making. Research consistently shows that parents and family members continue to influence students’ choices throughout college. Rather than having one “big talk,” consider having ongoing conversations that encourage your student to reflect on their values, prepare for challenging situations, and know where to turn for support.
Share Your Expectations and Values
Students benefit from understanding not only what their families expect, but why those expectations matter. Consider discussing:
- Your family’s expectations regarding alcohol, cannabis, nicotine, prescription medications, and other drugs.
- How substance use may affect health, academic success, relationships, finances, and future goals.
- The values that guide your family’s expectations, while recognizing your student’s growing independence and ability to make their own decisions.
Learn About Your Student’s Perspective
Approach conversations with curiosity rather than assumptions. Consider asking:
- What have you heard about alcohol or other drug use at Mizzou?
- What situations do you think might be challenging?
- How do you think you’ll handle pressure from friends?
- What are you most looking forward to—and what are you most nervous about?
Listening without immediately judging or solving problems helps build trust and encourages students to continue sharing their experiences.
Prepare for Real-World Situations
Whether or not your student chooses to drink or use other substances, discussing common college situations ahead of time can help them make thoughtful decisions. Topics might include:
- Situational awareness in new surroundings.
- Responding to peer pressure.
- Making transportation plans before going out.
- Staying with trusted friends.
- Looking out for others and intervening when someone may need help.
- Calling for medical assistance in an emergency.
- Understanding University policies and potential consequences related to alcohol and other drug use.
Preparing for situations before they occur can help students feel more confident and better equipped to respond.
Promote Healthy Decision-Making
College presents many opportunities to make independent choices. Encourage your student to think about how those choices align with their personal goals. Discuss:
- Strategies for managing stress in healthy ways.
- Building friendships and finding community without relying on alcohol or drugs.
- Balancing academics, work, extracurricular activities, and self-care.
- How alcohol or other drug use could impact goals that are important to them.
Remind your student that many college students choose not to drink or use drugs, and that they do not have to participate simply because they believe “everyone else is.”
Stay Connected Throughout the Year
Your influence does not end after move-in. Continue checking in throughout the semester by asking open-ended questions about:
- How classes are going.
- New friendships and activities.
- Stress and overall well-being.
- Challenges they are navigating.
- Successes they are proud of.
Regular, supportive conversations help students know they have someone they can turn to if they need guidance or support.
Continue the Conversation
Every student and family is different. What matters most is creating opportunities for ongoing, honest conversations built on trust, respect, and support. Families looking for support are encouraged to request the Family Handbook for Talking with College Students About Alcohol, as well as the campus resources listed in this module.